“Our family could have been a more supportive resource if individuals were able to balance their efforts to keep going with time to talk with each other about our struggles in the midst of grief.” –

–J Brown, Growing Yourself Up, Chapter 15 Old Age and facing Death : Denial or honest preparation.

In this pod cast I reflect on the lessons learned from death in my family of origin, applied to a more recent death in my family system. What does it take to contribute to a more open system of relationships during the painful, anxious time of preparing for a death? How much are we able to communicate our thoughts, feelings and imaginings to another and allow them to reciprocate? How does the dying person do this and how do other family members ask good open questions and share their own experiences?

This pod cast tells of the story of a disillusioned grandparent Helen and how she shifted her efforts away from her expectations of access to her grandchildren and towards her relationship with her adult son:

“Helen’s efforts went onto shifting her focus away from her grandson and back to her own son. She could see how much she’d assumed about her role as grandmother without asking Aaron what he thought. Helen also could see that she had put too many relationship eggs into one basket and needed to invest some energy in her broader network of friends and family.” [for Growing Yourself Up 2^nd edition. Chap 14: Ageing well: Retirement, the empty nest, relating to a third generation. p 204

In this pod cast Jenny reflects a family systems view of the challenges and opportunities of adjustments in the middle years of the life cycle.

Even if you are not in this stage of life it may be worthwhile to reflect on : How did your parents respond to this life stage? Is anyone in your important relationship network grappling with midlife issues?

‘Is there really such a thing as a midlife crisis? Why is it that some seem comfortable to accept that their youth is behind them while others seem to experience their ageing as a catastrophe?

Midlife is a bit like the half-time break in a football game: it provides the opportunity to step back and look at how you are playing the game and whether some adjustments in approach can to be made.’ From Growing Yourself Up 2017 p 189 & 194.

Growing up through the life cycle – these podcasts are deigned to prompt thinking about one’s own life adjustments as well as reflecting on the experiences of members of the broader family. To listen on iTunes, click HERE.

 

Growing up through the life cycle – these podcasts are deigned to prompt thinking about one’s own life adjustments as well as reflecting on the experiences of members of the broader family.

To listen on iTunes, click HERE.